“Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion.
What a man thinks of himself, that is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.”
-Henry David Thoreau
What I didn’t know, standing by the whitesand river all those years ago, was that my soul was touching the impermanence of an exquisite moment.
-Stephen Thomas Berg
“I also am other than what I imagine myself to be. To know this is forgiveness.”
-Simone Weil
Please don’t confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them.
-These Days by Jackson Brown
Many thanks to all who made it down for our big day.
photo via Nathan Clendenin
Our invitations were designed by our lovely and talented friend Ms. Sara Allsopp
“What I would really like to have been, given a perfect world, is a jazz pianist. I mean jazz. I don’t mean rock and roll. I mean the never-the-same-note twice music that American black people gave the world. I played piano in my own all-white band in my all-white high school in Midland City, Ohio. We called ourselves ‘The Soul Merchants.’ How good were we? We had to play white people’s popular music or nobody would have hired us. But every so often we would cut loose with jazz anyway. Nobody else seemed to notice the difference, but we sure did. We fell in love with ourselves We were in ecstasy.”
-K. Vonnegut
“At least we still have freedom of speech.” I said.
And she said, “that isn’t something somebody else gives you. That’s something you give yourself.”
-K. Vonnegut
In the last 2 and a half months life has been really full, really fun, really, really busy, and at times exhausting. Part of the exhaustion stems from the fact that I can’t seem to stay healthy. Without going into too much detail lets just say I’ve had many more days of sick than days of well. I have no idea what’s going on or why I can’t seem to have any respite from sickness, but I’ve decided that if I’m going to get AND stay well I’ve got to be proactive about it.
I’ve been reading a lot recently about minimalism, healthy habits, and solutions to make my life better. One of the themes that comes up over and over again is personal accountability. I need to find success in achieving health, not just for me, but for my family. So that said, I’ve been working on changing a few habits and would like to change a few more in the coming months. I’ll be using the single-change method, because I really do think that’s the best way to go about this. Here are the changes I’ve made thus far and well as a few things that are in the docket:
1. WEIGHT.
I’ve started daily tracking my weight on a withings scale so that I can monitor the effects of my habit changes on my physical health. This comes from a recommendation by my friend Amelia who has had a lot of success with doing this. I’m a big fan of metrics and truly believe in the old adage, that if you don’t measure it, you can’t manage it.
2. FOOD.
The boys (Zach included) and I also started eating mostly organic foods. We’re a part of a local CSA and thankfully Earthfare makes it an easy (but expensive) task to fill in the rest of our diet. Along these lines I’d like to work towards eliminating most sugary foods from my diet as well as move towards eating mostly vegetarian and vegan foods. I’ve also begun making green smoothies each morning, and have mostly eliminated sugar and half and half from my coffee. Black & bitter!
3. MONEY.
I have been slowly but surely chipping away at my debts. I had to buy a new car last year because mine started to have engine trouble and with as much as I travel with small children, it just wasn’t worth the risk anymore. I also have some credit card debts because the speed of Ephraim’s adoption necessitated going into a bit of debt in order to bring him home. Although totally worth it, I’m a big fan of debt proof living and I know that my personal stress levels will drastically decrease once these debts are paid in full. These payments are on track and hopefully by August of next year will be, as Caleb says, “all done.”
4. PHYSICAL HEALTH.
I’m a week in to supplementing my diet with vitamins and organic supplements. I think I’ve got a pretty good balance going but will check in with my doctor when I go home for the wedding, to make sure I’m on track.
5. SLEEP.
This is a big one for me and is my next habit change focus. I’ve never been a big sleeper and having two toddlers now has not helped in that department at all. So, recognizing that a big part of my sleep patterns are out of my control, I want to focus on the parts that are in my control, namely going to bed at a decent hour.
6. EXERCISE.
This will be my next hurdle. Prior to getting Caleb, I was an avid runner and would regularly run between 5 & 14 miles on any given day and was really active in the weight room. After the wedding Zach and I have decided that we want to make exercise a priority for both of us. I’ll keep you posted on the plan as I get it set up, but I’d like to do some combination of running, yoga, & weights.
Dear Ephraim,
This is one of the first pictures I ever saw of you. It’s from the day I got your referral–February 4, 2009. You were 2 months old and from what they’ve told me, you were an amazing little baby. Today’s your birthday. You just turned 3. I can’t even hardly believe it. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize that we’re a family. You’ve been here with me and Caleb for a little over two months and yet, it feels like you’ve been here forever.
You are so brave. Everything in your little world has changed and yet each morning you still greet me with smile and we snuggle while we wait for brother to wake up (and while I wait for the coffee to brew). It’s a precious time. Really soon, Daddy and Mommy are going to get married and then you’ll be able to snuggle with both of us every single day! Mommy’s really excited about that because Daddy is a wonderful man and he’s also super fun to be around. You love it when he tickles you and we love it when you laugh.
I’m trying to write down all of the funny things that you do so that when you’re older I can share them with you. You’re really smart, and are learning so many new things everyday. You are very sweet and helpful, especially towards your little brother. The other day, you were getting your water cup and noticed that Caleb didn’t have his, so you put yours down, and went to get it for him. Sometimes you can get a little mischievous. You’ve already learned how to lock and unlock all of the doors in the house. That’s why all of the locks have duct tape on them. It’s pretty funny how Daddy and I are learning to stay one step ahead of you. Sometimes you still get the best of us and that’s when we’re really thankful for Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser. Buzz Lightyear is your absolute favorite thing ever and you beg me on a daily basis to watch “Buzz on TB?” Most of the time, I tell you that Buzz is sleeping and that seems to make sense to you, so you’ll go and play with something else. We also love watching Elmo. You’ve learned so many words and phrases from Sesame Street and I can see your little brain working as you are watching and trying to learn English. You’re doing so well and everyday we communicate a little better than the day before. I love our little family language that has developed over the past 2 months. It’s a little bit Amharic, a lot of English, and a heaping tablespoon of words that we’ve just made up. I don’t even realize we have it until people come over and point out that they have no idea what we’ve just said to each other. Caleb and Daddy are in on it too and I have a feeling that we’ll always have our own little language. It warms my heart to think about it. You love to sing and dance, but most of all you love to run and play. Your laugh is infectious and it fills our house with life and joy. I am so thankful that this is the music that will define our home.
I’ve spent some time these past few days sorting through all of your paperwork and I found one of the first descriptions I read about you, “gorgeous, a pure prince, always sleeping with his hands up at his face – loves to snuggle . . . He is one of God’s special little angels.” These are the words that have echoed through my heart over the last several years. For so long, you grew in my heart while we both waited for God to knit us together as a family. I pray fervently that you know and understand how much I love you. And more than that, how much God loves you too.
You are my pure prince.
You are my miracle son.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Mommy
